


The Spring that Emerges from Eternal Winter

by Ferrero13



Series: Lead Me in Love [1]
Category: Gokusen - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, Misunderstandings, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-11
Updated: 2014-05-11
Packaged: 2018-01-24 08:22:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1598132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ferrero13/pseuds/Ferrero13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yamato falls in love with highlighted hair and broad smiles.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Spring that Emerges from Eternal Winter

**Author's Note:**

> Set during Gokusen 3, written in present tense, and centres mostly around Yamato angsting over Ren. I don’t own Gokusen.

Yamato doesn’t know how to show people that he likes them. He doesn’t know when to smile, when _not_ to smile, and when a smile would be completely misconstrued for an inappropriately cocky smirk. This is why he has such trouble making friends.

The first day they walked into the same classroom Yamato said to Kazama, “Let’s get along” and Kazama punched his nose at just the right angle and with just the right amount of force to break it. The idea of pressing another pack of frozen peas to his sore face doesn’t appeal in the least to Yamato so he just keeps his distance from Kazama, who seemed to take everything Yamato does as some sort of a challenge, believe that Yamato’s very existence is an affront unto his sense. Yamato just plays along because it’s easier to be angry than confused, to rely on muscle than brain.

He frankly doesn’t know what to think of Kazama, who is equal parts charming and irritating, whose hair is outrageously highlighted like he’s deliberately asking for a fight.

He spends lengths of time glaring (but he’s really just staring – his narrow eyes conveniently provide the illusion of annoyance) at Kazama from the other side of the classroom, keeping up with the charade of hatred, claiming that he’s gathering information on his enemy’s weaknesses. He almost believes it himself sometimes. (But he doesn’t think he will ever be so cowardly as to take advantage of Kazama at his weakest regardless of how annoying he is with his streaked hair.)

During this time, he notices things that redeem Kazama in his eyes, things that almost make him forgive black eyes and broken noses. He sees that Kazama is a good friend to those whom he cherishes, sees someone who is charismatic in a way he will never be, who is liberal with his smiles and rules by kindness not by fear. Yamato is kind too – or at least he thinks he is to the select few of his small group. He can’t summon the effort to treat others with the same consideration unlike Kazama who seems to make it his duty as naturally as breathing.

It makes him want to learn more about this rival of his, why he walks down this trodden path of delinquency when he can clearly charm the pants off his teachers if he tries.

He gets his chance when Yamaguchi steps in as their new homeroom teacher and pigheadedly unites the class’ two warring factions. What he finds is more than he’s ever hoped for.

\------------------------

Helping to prove Kazama’s innocence had been a no-brainer. Yamato is spiteful and bitter but he isn’t cruel; Kazama doesn’t deserve to be apprehended for a crime he hasn’t committed. Yamato may not be the best judge of Kazama’s personality, but he thinks that there are some things that do not go hand in hand with the compassion he’s observed so far.

Besides, it wasn’t really all for Kazama’s sake; watching Yamaguchi bow to everyone on the street for Kazama also rubbed him the wrong way. It was one thing to think that this teacher might be different, and another entirely to witness it first-hand. It makes him uncomfortable, knowing that his world is quickly being overturned.

\------------------------

Some days later Kazama returns the favour and as they slump side by side on the handrail of a tiny wooden bridge, cramped together by their friends who are heaving and wheezing on the opposite handrail, leaving no space for them, Yamato thinks that he would like to get to know Kazama Ren better. He thinks that it would be nice to one day know Ren instead of Kazama.

\------------------------

What he learns makes him fall hopelessly in love with the idiot.

Yamato has never been in love before. He thought it was stupid, a chemical defect engineered to offset the potential brilliance of humanity’s collective intellect in order that humans as a whole wouldn’t become too smart. Physical attraction had also been one of the things Yamato hadn’t had any interest in, and even when he’d gone and done something stupid like fallen in love with Kazama Ren he remained _mostly_ objective about his body and face, thinking of them as no more than a container to prevent Kazama’s overly excitable self from exploding all over the place.

Yamato imagines that his father will burst another vein if he learns that there’s more that’s wrong with his younger son than just his grades and delinquent tendencies. But Ren is not something to be shameful of, not when he’s all sunshine and caring and smiles.

Not when he looks, every single time, at Yamato like he thinks that the hard work that goes into eliciting Yamato’s laughter is worth all the trouble, and doesn’t hold back hugs or avoid randomly pulling on Yamato’s arm to drag him around.

\------------------------

He’s too busy still making a study of Ren (he’s allowed to call him that now, and it fills him with misplaced pride to think about it) to realise that he probably ought to have reacted more enthusiastically to the goukon.

Whatever. He gets roped into it anyway when Ren makes it a challenge. He can never turn down a challenge (he can never turn down Ren). The idea of Ren looking prim like a proper schoolboy fills him with tickling bubbles of amusement. He’s never going to pull it off, but, for what it’s worth, Yamato is interested to see how long Ren will last before he messes up.

That Ren is going to be attractive and even more charming than usual in a bid to upstage Yamato is merely an extra.

Just a perk.

Not at all what Yamato is agreeing to go to this ridiculous group date for.

Nope. Not at all.

…who is he kidding. He’s obviously going only because Ren’s going to be putting effort into looking more attractive than usual as he makes bumbling attempts to become someone he’s not.

Yamato can enjoy the fall out afterwards knowing that at least he likes Ren for his stupidity as well as his charm, because all those girls are never going to steal that from him. Ren’s not going to be (that much of) an idiot in front of them, and they’re not going to know the real Ren, which in Yamato’s books means that he’s got something really special that they don’t. He doesn’t think this thing he has for Ren, whatever it is, will go anywhere, given Ren’s enthusiasm for girls, but he thinks it’s all right to have a little world in his head where it’s okay to be in love with someone who will probably never love him back.

\------------------------

The group date is a disaster but it still lasted longer than Yamato expected. He is still in his blue sweater and thick-frame glasses when they stumble out of the karaoke building after scaring the girls off, Ren flushing red from his mad scramble after the girls who can run surprisingly quickly for their size.

Yamato takes a moment to appreciate how beautiful Ren is, pocketing his hands when they start to feel awkward just hanging beside him and discovers a slip of paper in his left pocket.

He takes it out and unfolds it carefully.

It’s a hastily written phone number.

Apparently one of the girls wasn’t as frightened as they thought they were.

Then everything is forgotten when they receive news that Kuraki is being held responsible for his girlfriend’s relapse.

\------------------------

Yamato rings her sometime after school let out a few weeks later to explain things to her; tell her that he isn’t actually interested in a relationship (or her, or girls, in general; a relationship with Ren would be a dream come true). Instead, he spends the next hour listening to her ask about Ren’s favourite food (takoyaki), his favourite colour (copper), his favourite subject (none). If Yamato doesn’t empathise with her obsession over Ren, and if she isn’t unreachable through the phone, he will have gladly resorted to force to make her stop. As things stand, Yamato waits till he can no longer stand the interrogation before hanging up on her abruptly.

His phone promptly rings again one minute later, this time with an unknown number. The person on the line is another girl from the goukon, but she calls to apologise for her friend. Yamato tells her honestly that what’s-her-name is an absolute pain, to which she agrees, and promises that she will make all attempts to prevent her friend from embarrassing herself further.

He manages to strike an unlikely acquaintance with her although their conversations via messages are often cut short abruptly whenever Yamato becomes suddenly distracted by the highlights in Ren’s hair. In his defence, Ren does have very loud highlights.

\------------------------

Some long months later Yamato gets detained at the police station for fighting. They take his phone and other personal artefacts. Yamato assumes that it’s to prevent him from plotting daring escapes with the help of the rest of 3-D, although he frankly doesn’t believe his class is smart enough to come up with anything viable. Regardless, the girl (Hanako-chan) becomes worried by his lack of response and, after he has been released to the welcoming chaos of his class (and the warmth-inducing smiles of Ren), asks to meet him for the first time.

They set a date sometime between now and the end of the month.

\------------------------

The day they are slated to meet is nondescript and boring and Yamato doesn’t know why he has to report his every appointment to Ren but he does and Ren doesn’t ask questions.

\------------------------

He should have known better, of course.

Hanako-chan is waiting for him on a bench at a nearby park. She greets him enthusiastically, which Yamato thinks is great because he doesn’t remember what she looks like and hasn’t bothered to trade photographs.

She stands up to greet him with a smile and a wave and says, “It’s nice to see you again, Ogata-kun.”

Yamato makes a noncommittal noise in response. She remains undaunted and presses on.

“Midori still wants to know if Kazama-kun prefers his sushi with or without wasabi but I managed to stop her from tagging along.” Hanako-chan smiles at him all squinty-eyed and hopeful, like he’s the morning sun.

Yamato can’t help but think instead that he maybe prefers if what’s-her-last-name Midori is there as well. With things as they are, it is uncomfortably similar to a date.

\------------------------

At the end of it, Yamato begs exhaustion from a long day but he’s not quick enough to do so before Hanako-chan (sort of) confesses that she likes him.

“Ogata-kun, I enjoyed myself today,” she says shyly. Yamato can’t help but think that enjoyment had been the last thing on his mind for the last few hours.

He makes a humming sound that’s polite enough for a lead up to rejection.

“Can we do this again sometime?” Hanako-chan goes on to ask, eyes large and pleading, gloss-covered lips curved into a nervous smile. He wonders if it’s normal at all that he isn’t moved by it.

“Don’t waste your time; I’ve already got someone I like,” Yamato says eventually when the silence stretches on for too long, when there’s too much rustling leaves and background conversation filling the awkward lull in theirs. He owes it to her to explain why he’s rejecting her when all she’s been was nice. (But then, he doesn’t want nice, does he? He wants brawling and riotous laughter, too-wide grins and sinuous arms.)

Hanako-chan takes it all in stride. Her eyes dim a little, her cheeks pale a bit, but she stands firmly and looks him in the eye, “I see. Then I shan’t bother you again, Ogata-kun.” She doesn’t ask who. He doesn’t offer.

“Un,” Yamato grunts.

As she waves goodbye, he whispers just loud enough for her to hear, but soft enough that she might mistake it for a figment of her imagination, “Sorry.”

But he isn’t, not really.

His head’s too full of Ren.

\------------------------

The next day Ren looks at him funny, like he’s trying to figure something out. Yamato ignores him. It’s probably something to do with him ditching them after class yesterday.

He can’t help, however, but notice that Ren’s not as free with his touches anymore.

\------------------------

His father divorces his mother anyway and Yamato comes clean to her. He tells her at their quiet dinner table for two that he likes men, that he has an unhealthy fixation on his best friend, and that he really, really doesn’t want to change that about himself. She tells him that she understands and encourages him to do what he’s comfortable with now that they no longer live in the shadow of his father’s enormous expectations.

It’s liberating.

For the first time in his life, he takes a deep breath and his chest swells effortlessly with happiness until it is full and it doesn’t feel like he’s sucking in a lungful of water.

\------------------------

Ren is in a hospital.

Ren is in a hospital, possibly dying.

Ren is in a hospital, possibly dying, because he tried to save Yamato.

Ren is possibly dying because he tried to save Yamato.

Ren is possibly dying because of Yamato.

Ren is dying because of Yamato.

Ren. Dying. Yamato’s fault.

His body is numb with fright and fear, his veins burning with frantic anxiety.

Ren.

Yamato sneaks into the hospital while Ren’s sister is asleep beside him. He clings onto Ren’s hand so hard he thinks he might leave bruises but he doesn’t let go, hoping that maybe the pain would cause Ren to wake up.

He doesn’t.

Yamato continues to stare down at Ren’s face, still and quiet and not at all like he’s used to. It’s not normal. He doesn’t like it.

He thinks of never seeing Ren’s large eyes open again, never hearing the thin voice that used to be so annoying, never seeing Ren’s nose scrunch up again when he’s particularly stumped (which is—was— frequently), and his brain keeps replaying the scenes he will miss so much. There is only so much he can endure before he starts to lose himself so he forces himself to stop thinking, focus on Ren’s steady breathing because it is, if nothing else, a sign that he’s alive.

He kneels down next to the bed, continues to grip Ren’s hand.

“Sorry,” he says, and he’s instantly reminded of Hanako-chan and park benches. His head falls to the crook of Ren’s elbow and he feels something warm rising behind closed lids.

“Sorry,” he repeats, “Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. I’m so sorry, Ren.”

He stays until his knees have gone numb and cramps have developed in his arms from not letting go. He gets up only when Ren’s sister starts to stir, and leaves behind a wet and salty hospital pyjama elbow.

\------------------------

He returns again the next night, and the next, until Ren finally wakes up.

\------------------------

Everything is quiet until graduation. Yamato doesn’t do anything to betray his affection, except maybe stand too close to Ren sometimes to make sure that he’s there and it’s real and he’s not dying. He takes comfort in the constant push and pull of muscles stretching under the skin of Ren’s face and knows that Ren is alive.

It almost makes him forget the time when he doesn’t know if Ren’s face will ever regain its smile.

It’s enough for him that Ren is well.

Some things have also changed.

Ren’s highlights are gone, his hair is shorter, and he doesn’t wear as many pins. Yamato’s hair, instead has grown, been put in frizzy curls, and gotten more coppery.

Yamato remembers that Ren likes copper. He also remembers that Ren liked to poke fun at his fluffy hair before the Hanako-chan incident, to pluck and ruffle it between his fingers. He pretends that his choice of hair style is a coincidence.

(It isn’t.)

\------------------------

After the graduation ceremony, after Yamato has thanked Head Teacher Monkey-Face for scouring for jobs for Ren and the rest, after they have all thanked Yankumi by revealing the humongous banner they made for her, after everything, Ren pulls Yamato aside for a while.

They go to their classroom where it’s unnaturally still without the rowdiness of their class playing like a broken record. Yamato is still high on graduating but he notices when Ren’s hand doesn’t let go of his even when they’ve stopped in the middle of the room, surrounded by crooked tables and chairs and walls painted with the creative explosions of all the classes before them.

Ren just holds onto his fingers, crooking his own around them like a pinky promise, only with every other finger as well.

“I suppose it’s time I told you that I followed you on your date with Hanako-chan.”

Yamato doesn’t know why Ren is bringing this up now, doesn’t know why Ren is bringing Hanako-chan into the room when he would have been fine with just the two of them, their presence filling the space. “That was a long time ago,” he says instead.

Ren’s lips curl into an embarrassed smile. “Yeah. But, you know, since we’re graduating and all, and I don’t know if I’m ever going to see you again—”

“Of course we’re still going to see each other,” Yamato interjects, feeling hysteria overtake him. Why does Ren think that they’re not going to be friends anymore after graduation? He doesn’t think he can go cold turkey so abruptly, doesn’t think he can be suddenly stripped away from Ren without going into withdrawal. “What makes you think we won’t?”

“You’re going to find yourself a girlfriend, aren’t you?” Ren says quietly.

Huh?

“You said it yourself, to that girl. You said you had someone you liked,” Ren says all this in one breath, eyes focussed on a scratch on the floor Yamato made with a penknife many, many happy days ago. “I mean, now that you’ve graduated and all, I assume you’re going to actually do something about it.” At this, Ren stares pointedly at Yamato’s second button.

Oh.

“And once you’ve got yourself a girlfriend you won’t want to hang around with us anymore. We’ll probably embarrass you or scare her off,” Ren continues. He’s starting to sound like he cannot breathe, like he’s trying to get this all out on one lungful of air before he loses courage. “I…you…I don’t want to not see you anymore. I know we haven’t known each other for long, and that for most of it you hated me and I hated you and we couldn’t be happier than if we were given the chance to fight each other until neither of us can stand anymore, but, you know, you’ve sort of become very important to me and I don’t want to stop seeing you.”

Ren looks up then, and Yamato can’t think of anything but why they haven’t had a heart-to-heart before now, before it all goes to pieces.

“I don’t want to not see you anymore either,” he confesses in a sudden rush of air. “I mean, you’re important to me too.”

Ren smiles, and fingers tighten around Yamato’s hand. “Yeah. Me too.” Then he stops, stares at their linked hands, and Yamato can literally see him trying to figure out why they’re still intertwined.

“So, you know, I’m not going to stop seeing you,” Yamato continues, then decides that it sounded too revealing, makes him feel too naked, and adds awkwardly, “guys.” He pauses. “Even if I get a girlfriend.” Another pause. “Which I’m not going to.”

Ren gives a puzzled eyebrow crinkle. His nose does that thing that it does too. “But you…I’m pretty sure…I mean, you said…”

“I said I had someone I liked,” Yamato interrupts. He licks his lips nervously, curls his fingers even more tightly around Ren’s, and hopes he isn’t reading this wrongly, and that even if he is Ren wouldn’t try to forget he ever existed. “I…I’m not…it isn’t a girl.”

Ren continues to stare at him, large eyes wide and waiting, waiting for the other shoe to drop. He always looks so startled to Yamato because of how large his eyes are, but nothing compares to the wide-eyed look of question (or, Yamato is starting to believe, his brain grinding to an abrupt halt) he is wearing now.

“I’m not into girls, so it’s okay. No one’s going anywhere. And he…the one I like…probably has no problems with me hanging out with you anyway,” Yamato tries to stop his voice from going high, to keep his calm. “He…he’s very fine with me spending time with you.”

“I don’t understand.”

His eyes are still round.

Yamato waits, closes his eyes and waits for Ren to drop his hand in disgust.

Only, Ren’s hand doesn’t move away.

“You liked the goukons,” Ren says, and Yamato opens his eyes to find him trying and failing to figure things out. “You were happy enough to come with us. You didn’t stare at boys or anything.”

Yamato’s eyebrows shoot up. “I didn’t think you noticed these kinds of things.”

Ren waves dismissively at him, still intent on getting things straightened out. “So, what, you just decided, between the goukon with Momo Girls’ High and your ‘date’ with Hanako-whatever, that you’d go and crush on some random guy? How does that even make sense? That doesn’t make sense at all. Why doesn’t it make sense?” Ren scratches at his hair frantically, like he always does, and in the process messes it up some more – Yamato tries not to get distracted by how much he likes it that way. This isn’t the time.

(Will there _ever_ be a time when this is appropriate?)

In the end Yamato has to grip Ren’s hand painfully to get him to stop. It transports him for a dizzying moment back to the hospital where Ren lay, unmoving, and it makes him glad that it’s all in the past, all water under the bridge. Even if things fall apart after today at least Ren’s heart is still beating.

“I’ve never liked girls,” Yamato says, partly to stop Ren’s rambling but mostly to get it off his chest. It feels good to tell someone else, feels good that the secret he’s kept in his chest for so long that’s bursting to get out is now shared with the one other person he loves above all other things.

Ren shuts up, pauses for a moment that seems to last hours, then says, “Okay,” and Yamato heaves a sigh of relief.

“Okay,” he repeats. “Okay.” He flashes Ren a relieved smile, all relaxed and floppy and lopsided. “Okay.”

“It’s fine. I don’t mind,” Ren emphasises. As if Yamato needs a reminder of how perfect Ren is.

“Yeah. Thanks.”

Quiet, just two heartbeats pounding so loudly they think the other can hear it.

“Since when?” Ren asks suddenly.

Yamato doesn’t stop to think. Thinking tends to land him in trouble anyway because he has a habit of overthinking, of worrying too much. “I don’t know. Always. Or this year. I didn’t notice until…”

_…until I fell in love with you._

Maybe he ought to have thought through his words.

“…until _him_?” Ren suggests cautiously.

“…yeah.”

A beat.

“Can I ask who?”

Yamato’s fingers tense around Ren’s like an answer, only, Ren doesn’t seem to understand.

“Yeah,” he says. He might as well. Ren’s not going to let him go unless he’s got all the answers he wants.

“Who?” Ren’s eyes are boring holes into Yamato’s skull, and they’re burning into him. It’s hot, stifling.

For a moment, Yamato considers lying. Then he thinks that Ren deserves better, that he’s been lying for so long already, and that he’s tired of this charade.

He grips Ren’s fingers more firmly, then looks resolutely into his eyes. “Who do you think?”

He stares and stares and prays that his fear doesn’t give way under him.

Ren is still, still like he was at the hospital, except this time he’s not lax, every muscle in him is engaged, ready for action.

Then he’s on him, pushing Yamato into the nearest table, free hand scrambling over Yamato’s gakuran and Yamato can’t _think_. He’s pressed desperately onto a flat surface and there’s breathy exhales on his lips that are hot and come straight from Ren’s lungs and Yamato’s brain kicks in with a start, tells him to put his arm around Ren and pull and pull and never let go.

There’s a mad, frantic moment of just clinging and Yamato’s brain shuts down again. All he knows is that Ren’s not moving away, he’s not leaving him, he’s pushed himself up against Yamato and is _not leaving him_.

Their legs trip over each other and they land heavily on the table top, Yamato trapped beneath Ren’s welcoming weight, and they’re still holding hands. Ren’s fingers are in his hair and Yamato’s are flat against Ren’s back, their clothes are crumpled, the bruises from their earlier fight stinging and tingling and he cannot possibly be happier than this. Ren is laughing into Yamato’s mouth, their lips grazing past each other, their breaths mingling, and their smiles are wide with abandon.

There’s a moment of just looking at each other, of holding and of reality finally sinking in, before Ren dips his head down again, tilts it, and presses his mouth softly against Yamato’s, breath broken and ragged and passing through their open lips. Yamato thinks he can remain like this forever. He hopes they have many more moments like this.

When Ren finally pulls back it’s because Yamato has finally started to develop breathing difficulties from being pressed down for so long (not that he’s complaining – he’d die happy from this). They can’t stop grinning even though the cuts on their faces sting a bit from the way their smiles tug at them. Yamato’s got Ren, and he isn’t letting go.

Not that letting go would be easy, anyway, with how unyielding the vice grip of Ren’s hand is around his.

“Thank you,” Yamato breathes.

Ren presses his face into the hollow of Yamato’s neck, says, “He definitely doesn’t mind you spending more time around me,” and then his mouth moves silently as if to say, “I love you.”

Yamato squeezes Ren’s hand, and his grin stretches widely and giddily across his face again.

\------------------------

They stumble out of the classroom hours later with messy hair and bright red cheeks. Kuraki is clueless, Kamiya raises an eyebrow, Honjou grumbles about having to wait, and Icchi just smiles knowingly at the both of them.

No one comments when, instead of leading the group as they usually do, Ren and Yamato fall behind so that when they brush hands and occasionally hook their pinkies around each other’s, the silly smiles on both their faces will go unnoticed.

No one comments, either, on the missing second buttons from Ren and Yamato’s uniforms, or on the fact that they’re now threaded through the necklaces around their necks.

It’s hard, however, to ignore the blatant grin on Yamato’s face.

\------------------------

One year later they’re at Kumai-san’s ramen shop sitting side by side with shoulders pressed firmly together like that time on the bridge, when Kuraki, Kamiya, Honjou and Icchi stumble in with breaking news that Yankumi is with a guy. It is some time before they are able to pull apart because their chairs have been pushed together earlier to facilitate mutual intrusion of personal space, but they manage it (and their subsequent migration to opposite sides of the table) with some good grace.

Icchi, who is now seated next to Yamato, gives the both of them an apologetic smile, as does Kumai-san, while Odagiri-san keeps quiet even when his eyes linger a little too long, too knowingly, on the way their feet are entangled under the table despite a respectable distance between their torsos. Yamato doesn’t comment, either, when Odagiri-san fingers something in his pocket over and over again.

They manage to sit through the meal and make small talk until it’s appropriate to leave, and, when they do leave, Yamato endures ten seconds of Ren apologising for bringing him to Kumai-san’s shop for their lunch date before he has to shut Ren up by slipping a hand under his shirt.

Yamato’s hair is still copper, and somehow even fluffier.

\------------------------

Then Ren gets caught up in some shady drug business and Yamato doesn’t see him for the rest of the day. When he tries to call, Ren doesn’t pick up, and that’s what triggers his worry.

It takes everything to keep his hands to himself once Ren’s found in their old classroom.

\------------------------

They sleep opposite each other at Yankumi’s house. Yamato doesn’t get up and walk over to Ren’s futon even though the urge is so strong, even though Ren looks like he’s going to shatter. He stays obediently in his until the rest of them decide it’s time to eavesdrop on Yankumi’s conversation with her…henchmen.

That still took some getting used to.

\------------------------

When all of Ren’s troubles have been resolved, when Kurose Kentarou has been arrested, when Yankumi collapses a little on pretentious red carpet, Yamato gets his first chance to just _exist_ beside Ren.

Their elbows are almost touching in a promise for later that Yamato will hold Ren to.

\------------------------

Three years later Yamato graduates, Ren gets promoted, and they make another promise, one that involves replacing their buttons with white gold rings.

Yamato knows that Ren secrets it away behind lock and key beside his bed, but Yamato prefers to keep his closer to his heart.

\------------------------

Sometimes Yamato doesn’t know when to smile, but that’s okay, because it can’t be wrong to be grinning until his wounds split open again when Ren looks at him like there’s nothing he’d rather be looking at.

And when Ren isn’t around, when both of them are at work earning respectable incomes that they plan to put toward an apartment, he touches the small, metal pendants resting against his collarbone, thinks of Ren, and smiles.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [December is Tired But Always Hopeful](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2407799) by [typervoxilations](https://archiveofourown.org/users/typervoxilations/pseuds/typervoxilations)




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